Michael Owen. A legend on the football field. Not so much off the field, though. The Liverpool legend has been seen in the role of a TV Pundit for BT Sport and the former England striker comes up with gems each time that cracks the audience up to no ends. His quotes, more often than not, leave the viewers in splits and at times end in *face-palm* moments.
Here we pick out 15 of the most hilarious quotes that the former Liverpool and Manchester United attacker have launched on us:
1.“Wenger will be quite happy that Arsenal haven’t conceded”
Arsenal vs Manchester United, at the Emirates in February 2014. The Gunners were coming on the back of a 5-1 drubbing at the hands of Liverpool and the match ended 0-0. And Michael Owen, in his inimitable style came up with that gem above.
Really? Thank you, Michael, if not for you, we would never have been able to comprehend Mr Wenger’s feelings after his team conceded no goals having let in 5 in the previous game.
2.“He looks like a footballer, doesn’t he?”
United returned to Champions League action in 2015, and in their qualifier game against Belgian side Club Brugge, fans got a first glimpse at their summer signing Memphis Depay. The Dutch international scored two for the Red Devils on the night. His first strike, after he controlled the ball brilliantly on the left-hand side, before cutting in and curling one into the net, resulted in Owen, a commentator for BT Sport for the game, saying the above words.
A professional of the sport, wearing his kit, playing on a football pitch and scoring a goal, we never realised he was a footballer.
3.”You can’t really grumble at the red card but it’s very harsh.”
This pearl of wisdom came in the Chelsea vs Arsenal London derby in 2015 when Arsenal defender Gabriel was sent off. Yeah, we agree Michael, it was deserved. Wait, what? It was harsh? Get your thought straight Mikey boy!
4.“Alderweireld played really well last year for Tottenham, let’s hope he transfers that form to Spurs this season.”
Maybe someone should let Owen know that they are the same clubs. That should cheer him up, after all, one less name to remember.
5.“It’s a good run, but it’s a poor run, if you know what I mean?”
Sorry Michael, but we DO NOT know what you mean.
6.“That would’ve been a goal had it gone inside the post.”
It is for such enlightening insight that Michael is revered by fans worldwide.
7.“To stay in the game, you have to stay in the game”
Message received Michael. Loud and clear. If that was the pep talk he would give his players, if he ever took up managing, no doubt all the players would be lining up to be a part of his team.
8.”Whichever teams scores more goals usually wins.”
We would never have been able to understand the essence of the game if not for the able guidance of Mr Owen.
9.”When they don’t score they hardly ever win.”
There he is again, explaining the complex nuances of the game of football. The game would be so much poorer without Owen bestowing his immense wisdom on us.
10.”You have to believe your own eyes, don’t you?”
Umm yes, it is a huge part of your job description, to see the on-field action and offer your views/opinions on it. So it is imperative that you use your eyes, and yes believe them. Isn’t that what you are paid for Michael?
11.“What a shot! That’s completely unstoppable, but the keeper’s got to do better for me”
Go easy on the poor keeper Mike! You’re a demanding person, aren’t you?
12.”They’re outswarming them!”
Here Mike tries to describe a counter-attack from his former team Liverpool against Arsenal. ‘Outswarming’? Well, new words are being added to the Oxford dictionary every day, why should Michael just stand by and watch?
13.”If there’s a bit of rain about, it makes the surface wet.”
No one could put it any better. Kudos Michael.
14.“When the ball is that still, it’s wobbling in the air.”
Redefining science and physics as we know it. Newton would be a proud man.
15.”That’s simple as…simple.”
Is it? That simple? Michael Owen to the rescue again.
16.”City will come out with a fresh set of impetus.”
Fresh set of impetus, that’s what every team should look for. Managers, are you listening?
17.“That’s a fantastic penalty, but he’ll be gutted it went wide.”
He surely knows it best, having been there and done it in the past. Don’t you Mike?
18.”I love these players with two feet.”
What other kind are out there Mike? To be fair, we figured what he was trying to tell here, but maybe a better choice of words?
19.“That’s hit the facial part of his head, there”
It is called the face Michael. The face!
20.”He’s elbowed him in the head, but there’s nothing in it for me.”
Sheer cold-bloodedness. You’re an evil one Mike!
He may keep stating the obvious, he may sound confused, but he does make us laugh. We love you Michael. Never stop.