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Forget World XI, here’s our Beast XI

The reputation of FIFA recurred as they proved the world yet again that Spain are the apples of their eyes during Ballon d’Or Ceremony.

World XI, as propounded by FIFA included the likes of Iker Casillas, Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi while the latter ignorantly broke Gerd Muller’s record last year. Unrests have arisen from all parts of the world towards the FIFA’s decision of preferring the players who play in Spain over the rest of the world. Let us see the names of those players who weren’t given the right justice they deserve.


Titus Bramble

Titus Bramble

FIFA has filled the right-back position with Dani Alves while Titus Bramble is the best-suited player for that position forgetting the fact that the Englishman is a centre-back. The thirty-two year old defender currently plays for Sunderland whose rivals, Newcastle United are stronger than Espanyol, Barcelona’s local rivals. Although Bramble had started only a very few games when compared to the Brazilian, he headlined the newspapers on a serious issue that Dani Alves would not have even thought of. Bramble was cleared of a groping a woman and possession of drugs. Moreover, Bramble has tweeted 4636 times while Alves managed a mere of 2930.

Kléper Laveran Lima Ferreira
FIFA opted to choose Sergio Ramos in the place of Kléper Laveran Lima Ferreira, better known to the world as Pepe. Considerably, Pepe had a better start to the year than the fellow Real Madrid player, Sergio Ramos as he intentionally stamped the Ballon d’Or Winner on his hand. Moreover, the Portuguese did not shoot the ball to the moon in the shoot-out against Bayern Munich while the Spaniard did. Pepe kicked his team-mate Alvaro Arbeola on his knees as he tried to cut his dramatics during a game against Valencia. Anyone can easily conclude that Kléper Laveran Lima Ferreira was better than Sergio Ramos last year thereby proving the bias of FIFA towards Spanish players.

Ryan Shawcross
Gerard Pique was preferred to Ryan Shawcross in the centre-back position by FIFA. Evidently, FIFA has chosen the Spaniard who struggled with injuries during the later stages of 2012 only to thank Shakira who made an awesome piece, Waka Waka for World Cup 2010. The Stoke City defender survived after being head-butted, slapped and elbowed the big headed Belgian, Marouane Fellaini. Moreover, the Englishman hasn’t injured many players in the past year despite playing for Stoke City and having a great reputation for putting players like Emmanuel Adebayor and Aaron Ramsey for long terms in the past. FIFA was so mean as they ignored the heart of Tony Pulis’s defence for Gerard Pique.

George Elokobi

And he is a footballer !!
And he is a footballer !!

The left-back position was allotted for Marcelo Vieira of Real Madrid while it should have been George Elokobi of Bristol City. The Cameroon born left-back is superior to the Brazilian in many aspects. Elokobi is, without a second thought, heavier than Marcelo. Elokobi was a vital part of Nottingham Forest team that avoided relegation as the Cameroonian made twelve appearances going on loan from Wolverhampton Wanderers. It’s a truism to say that the Wolves got relegated as they loaned him out. George Elokobi is more intelligent than Marcelo outside of football as he has studied Sociology, Business and Information Technology.

Emmanuel Frimpong
It was Xabi Alonso who was preferred in the spot which should have gone Emmanuel Frimpong in the first place. Frimpong announced in the month of November that his priority is to play for his home country Ghana while he’s eligible to play for England. This clearly shows that he’s a better person than the Spaniard. Along with the transfer of George Elokobi, the injury sustained by Emmanuel Frimpong also resulted in the relegation of Wolves while Xabi Alonso was just a part of Real Madrid’s successes last season. The Ghanaian is braver than the former Liverpool midfielder as he sarcastically hit his former team-mate, Robin van Persie on Twitter. Frimpong, being good at playing FIFA, certainly deserves a spot on FIFA’s World XI.

El Hadji Diouf
It should have been El Hadji Diouf in the place of Andres Iniesta. The Spanish midfielder featured on the Ballon d’Or nominees list only for the Argentinian to snatch it away for the fourth time. Diouf stated that he loved being boo-ed at and he also claimed that he’s the face of Leeds United. On the contrary, the Barcelona midfielder could not claim the same as he must be aware that Lionel Messi is the face of La Liga leaders. The Senegalese has discovered that the fans would never jeer at a bad player thereby saying that he’s one of the best players in the world. While this goal-scoring is capable of stuffs like this, the Spaniard just assisted Lionel Messi for the whole of 2012. FIFA must apologize for the exclusion of one of the best players as claimed by himself.

Joey Barton
Joey Barton assaulted elbowed, head-butted and kneed three different players in a single game which could rightly be the most vital match for Queens Park Rangers in the the previous season. He was ultimately sent off resulting in a 3-2 loss after going a goal up front. Joey Barton started his own website last year while the Spanish midfielder didn’t. Joey Barton has started playing a different country than his home country while Xavi didn’t. All these factors prove that the English midfielder should have been preferred to Xavi Hernandez.

Adebayo Akinfenwa
Radamel Falcao was chosen by FIFA while Adebayo Akinfenwa is the first person for the spot. Adebayo Akinfenwa certainly eats more than Radamel Falcao which makes him a stronger striker than the South American. Akinfenwa is the heaviest person in England while no superlative degree can be applied to the fellow competitor. Akinfenwa has a private mode called Beast Mode for himself and is the CEO of his own company while the Athletico Madrid has nothing but a pair of legs to score goals.

Mario Balotelli
The forever Ballon d’Or nominee was preferred to Mario Balotelli by FIFA. Mario Balotelli’s goal celebration against Germany in Euro 12 topped the chart in the Meme of the Year while the Portuguese failed to entertain the planet. As revealed by the Italian, he doesn’t celebrate after finding the back of the net while the Real Madrid frontman hurts the feelings of the goal-keeper by celebrating like a mad-cow. Mario Balotelli shook the world with his ‘Why Always Me’ undershirt while the former Manchester United player did nothing to headline the newspapers.

Emile Heskey

Emile Heskey Is One Of The Biggest Names In Football According To The Australians
How could Emile Heskey miss out on this team

FIFA is surely insane to ignore the God to include a kid-faced striker, Lionel Messi to Team of the Year. After getting sick and tired of scoring goals on the English soil, Emile Heskey has begun to extend his territory over other continents. At the moment, the English striker has conquered the whole of Australia as he kicked things of at the place where Nemo was found by his father. Heskey took no time to settle into the new atmosphere while Messi is not so brave to experiment himself on different soils. Messi wasn’t so effective against Chelsea while Heskey scored a 90th minute equalizer against Chelsea on 14/04/2008.

Iker Casillas was preferred to Costel Pantilimon by FIFA which is biased as always. Hailing from the country of Vampires, the giant shot-stopper looks like one himself while the Spaniard looks like none but a guy who does cameo roles in Hollywood. Throughout 2012, the Romanian had to fight for the Number 1 spot against Joe Hart, who is arguably the best goal-keeper in England while the Spanish captain had Antonio Adan as his deputizer. He was beaten by Bayern Munich in the shoot-out in the most elite tournament in Europe while Costel Pantilimon withstood all sort of attack and shoot-outs like a boss. The Romanian is, without a doubt, taller than Iker Casillas. Thus, Costel Pantilimon’s name should have been included in the World XI.

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